did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
