she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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