there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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