I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
