he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
