This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
