Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
