He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
