you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize
