Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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