my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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