He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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