We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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