My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
