Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
