out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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