to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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