ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
