How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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