well I can't set my house on fire every night
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
