Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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