Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
