His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
