Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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