i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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