There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
