so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's rum buckets o'clock
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
