if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
