Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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