I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
