The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
