Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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