First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
