I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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