The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
