I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
