Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
