the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
