Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
