i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
