we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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