She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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