I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
