If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize