I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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