All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
