I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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