i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
