Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
