He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
they need to just BURY HIM!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize