And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
