No awkward lesbian experiences without me
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
