Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Buhtt sex?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
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