too bad you live with your parents still
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize