Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize