Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize