worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
