Dual....:-)
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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