We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
