At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
