Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
