You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize